don't go back to HIM

Lunch was over and Lucy decided to head outside instead of spend the day inside the castle. She liked to be outside when possible. The autumn weather was enjoyable, and...honestly, because she was an Order supporter, Lucy couldn't stand the school that was overrun by Death Eaters and their ilk. Of course, she knew better than to admit that she supported the Order. It was for her safety, as Percy said, and she saw the logic in that. It would not do to die recklessly at the hands of the Death Eaters for a needless, stupid reason. Her father wanted to keep her safe...perhaps her stepmother too, she thought sarcastically.

Of course she knew Penelope Clearwater, her father's fiancee who he hooked up with and had her half-brother after divorcing her now dead mother (and her mother's death added to the bitter resentment, as did her sister Molly's death), was a normal lady who did not want her to die. But she just resented that woman so much that she liked to have dark thoughts about her. Perhaps Penelope would rather she be dead like Molly so that Percy's only existing child was their son, the son who shouldn't have been. Not to mention, she probably wanted all of the last traces of her mother ever having started a family with Percy to be gone. The sly witch was too clever to show that upfront, of course, but Lucy could imagine the selfish and conniving thoughts that she had in her mind.

For all her evil brooding, the girl was fairly surprised that she was capable of being so unfair and biased.  She was usually objective and professional.  But did she try to make an effort to stop.  If she felt spite, then she felt spite, and it helped to let her venomous thoughts run rampant.  She wished that her parents had never divorced.  She wanted her father, her mother, her, and her sister to be one family.  Unfortunately, her parents just had to break up.  Lucy thought that they shouldn't have.  Any complication could be resolved efficiently without having to give up on a whole freaking family.  If they were at odds, why not seek therapy? Why leave each other after all they've been through as one happy, beautiful family?  How could they not love each other and their kids enough to not want to keep the family strong? They hadn't tried hard enough! Just one little strain was enough to break the string! Her father made it worse by not allowing himself time to rethink what he did and go back to her mother--he just had to find another woman and have a child with that lady.  Lucy blamed Clearwater and her son for the breaking of her original family just as much as her parents' petty inability to get back together.

She wasn't stupid, though.  She knew what people would say--that she was being selfish, childish, and closed-minded.  It was between her mother and father to decide whether their marriage could stand to last or not.  Hell, she didn't know why they had divorced.  She just believed in what she wanted to believe--that was easier than speculating endlessly about something that she didn't know, for sure.  And of course people would tell her she was being over dramatic about the situation and mean-spirited to her stepmother and half-brother, but did she care? No, and she wasn't going to make herself care, either...especially not after her mother and sister died, leaving her alone with just her father, his wench, and their brat.  She felt so alone, as if her true family was gone.  Sure, she did have her father, but her sister and mother were part of her real family, too, and now they were no longer existing, leaving her with an artificial family that she didn't really belong to and resented, and who had usurped the place of the real family that she thought was more honorable and worthy, as it was the first one found from a beautiful first true love and two intelligent daughters were produced from it.

When her sister and mother died, she had snidely told her father and step-mother that they no longer had to worry about feeling a sense of unease and tension from the remnants of an old marriage, for those remnants had been cleared off for them.  Of course, she knew her father and stepmother were more saddened by the death of her mother and sister than they were happy if they were happy at all, but again, her anger caused her to harbor such silly thoughts that sometimes she was convinced that they were real, especially when she wasn't in the best mood. 
 
Anyway, enough prattle! So she had decided to head outside because the weather was a pleasant autumn one, and because she didn't like being inside the building too much because she knew that inside it was Death Eater Kingdom.  Also, while she was outside she also noticed her friend, Pamela Montague, walking around as well.  Usually Lucy would've approached right away to chat, because, well, that was what best friends did, but what she noticed out of the ordinary was that Pamela looked...sad.  But why? What had happened? Pam was sulking off somewhere, and Lucy followed from a distance to see what she would do.  If she was just going to walk around aimlessly, then Lucy would approach her.

However, Pamela walked over to a tree and leaned against it, and as Lucy walked closer to it, she saw that tears were rolling down her friend's cheeks.  Goodness, she was crying! But why? What had happened to sadden her so? Lucy immediately quickened her pace and strode over to her sad friend, wanting to know what was wrong and, of course, how she could help in any way and provide a listening ear.  Help, well, that depended on the situation...there were a lot of things she couldn't do.  Perhaps she would have advice to give, too! Who never had advice? Lucy thought that she was good at advice.  Aside from being utterly unfair to her stepmother and half-brother, she was objective and understanding of most things for the most part.  That was because she strove to be professional and classy like her father.  That was the only trait of hers that wasn't exactly daring, energetic, and courageous like most Gryffindors.  It was a bit Ravenclaw-like, even if she was more of a Gryffindor than a Ravenclaw, of course.

Once Lucy approached Pam's side, she took Pam's hands in hers and squeezed them.  "Pam? Oh, Pam, what is the matter? Why are you crying?" she asked, her voice filled with concern.  "Please, tell me.  You know I don't like to see you sad."  She was sure that Pam could trust her.  After all, they were good friends, good enough to confide in one another.



((Eep, sorry it's so long, most of it is just rambling nonsense XD I tend to do that for first posts.))