Home Sweet Home

Home. He wasn't used to it. "Home" for him had always been crashing on a friend's couch or on the couch of whatever house he was at that night if it was a party, frequently ending up in bed with someone, typically a girl. He could laugh about it now, how many girls he had slept with. The thought of sleeping with a girl now was not appealing in the slightest. He was very much gay. Had taken him sixteen years to even kiss a guy (and that guy had, of course, been Pete) and it was only when he was around twenty or so that he actually said it out loud. That he was gay, that is. When he had first "come out," it had been as bisexual, but then when he and Pete started getting closer, and he realized he was actually in love with his best friend and he had not once come close to feeling that way about a girl, ever, he realized once and for all that he was gay. And now he was engaged.

The thought seemed to wake him up from his half-asleep state of mind and he inhaled sharply, staring up at the ceiling as he laid on his back on his and Pete's bed. He was fully clothed in jeans, a t-shirt, and a flannel over it. Even before getting clean, Josh had never been one to just laze around with his shirt off. And now that he was clean and on various medication, he didn't even have urges that often to, uh, get naked. He mostly just laid in bed or on the couch. He didn't go out much, for many reasons, though the main one being he was scared. What if he met the wrong person and ended up popping pills or shooting up heroin again? That last time he overdosed the doctor had told him that if he did it again chances were he wasn't going to make it...

The anxiety came quickly, as it always did when he thought of dying, and he shot out of bed, his body feeling cold and clammy, but he did his best to look calm and collected as he walked out of the bedroom. He knew where Pete was. He did the same thing every night. Sat down and went over the ever growing pile of bills. And they were mostly all Josh's fault. His stomach churned uncertainly and he swallowed thickly as he walked over to the younger man, leaning down to place a gentle kiss on the top of his head, closing his eyes and letting his lips rest there, arms coming to curl around Pete's shoulders from behind. It wasn't a very comfortable position seeing as Josh was a giant (not literally, but he was still pretty damn tall) but just being close to his now fiance was enough to calm him down enough to breathe again.